Anthems for a seventeen year old girl
by therosegardens
Summary: Beck finds out Jade has been hiding a big dark secret. As he try to persuade her into telling him the truth. They hit a few speed bumps on the way.
1. Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl

Jade looked at herself in the mirror for a while. Staring at her naked body. Pinching her skin, thinking to herself... 'Too fat.' Her focus then was on her cuts, making sure, before she gets back to bed, they're not visible. She slipped on her clothes back on, slowly opened the door into Beck's living room/bedroom/kitchen/place. She watched her step and slipped back into bed with Beck.

Jade has been living in Beck's trailer for a couple of weeks now, with her parents fighting. She thought it'd be best she wasn't in the middle of it. Beck knew it was horrible for her to see her parents fight. Other than Beck, she really loves her parents. He just didn't know how much it hurt her.

She laid beside Beck. Still asleep, he looked... angelic. His eyes closed, peacefully laying on the bed... she lightly picked up his arm and pulled it over her stomach, closing her eyes, believing she didn't wake him up. But she did.

"Hmm?" He made. Seeing his girlfriend, peacefully asleep. He leaned over to kiss her on her cheek, when he noticed the cuts on her wrists peaking out of her sleeves of her shirts... he pulled her sleeves up to see even more.

'This can't be real.' He thought to himself. 'Maybe it's a dream.' To prove himself wrong, he pinched himself. He was wrong, this is real. He didn't want to awake her, he thought he'll wait till the morning to mention it. He just lied there on the bed, thinking to himself... 'Why?'

* * *

Beck's POV

"Fuck." I said under my breath, this shit can't be happening. Is her parents making her all depressed? How long... Ugh, can she just wake up now?

Sitting and waiting for almost an hour now. She's still sound asleep. I turned on the tv, hoping it'd wake her up. But it didn't. Took a couple of more hours to pass until she finally woke up.

"Hmm. Beck?" She said, unsure about her surroundings. She walked over and put her arms around me. "Why aren't you in bed? How long have you been awake?" She asked, kissing him on the cheek.

"A while... Uh, we need to talk." I said, I pulled out of her clutches, 'We need to talk?', she's probably going to think I'm trying to break up with her.

"About what?" She slowly answered.

"I saw something I don't think you wanted me to. But, babe." I tried to string this out, but I couldn't. "Hey, I saw... what happened to your wrists?" I spat out.

"What do you mean?" She jumped.

"Sho-show me." I stuttered. She shook her head. "Jade. Please." But she moved away from me. I started to move close to her, but she kept walking away until I cornered her and she fell on her knees.

"Jade... Jade. It's okay." I knelt down, touching her shoulder, "Please. Just show me." I asked nicely. She started to cry. "Hey... hey... just calm down." I said. I took her over to the couch. "Don't cry." I swept her tears. "I love you. I care. I just want to see."

"Fine!" She cried, "Just... well... I don't want to talk about it..."

I rolled up her sleeves up... ran my fingers through scabs and scars. My hand went over my mouth. This was unreal... "I just have one question... how long have you been..."

"A couple of months..." She interrupted.

"Why are you so sad?" I asked.

"You used up your question. I'm leaving." Jade grabbed her things, but I grabbed her bag and it fell. All of her things... Uneaten food, razors, and band-aids.

"Jade..." I tried to hold back my tears. "I made you lunch for the past week and you haven't ate?" I asked. She turned her head.

"Jade. You tell me everything, why are you doing this to yourself?" I asked.

She sat in silence.

"Well..."

A/N: Cliffhanger! Yay! I hope you like it. I'll try to get the next one up sooner... or later.


	2. And I'll see you next Tuesday

Jade's POV

_Used to be one of the rotten ones and he liked you for that._

"Well..." I repeated for the thousandth time. "Beck, it's hard to be happy when everything I actually love in life is just deteriorating." I started to tear up, but I just couldn't cry in front of Beck. But I sucked it up for now.

"Like what?" He asked. 'Ugh, isn't it obvious?' I thought to myself.

"You would know. You should know by now what I love and hate by now." I said. But that answer didn't satisfy him.

"Can you just tell me, Jade?" He asked.

"Have you seen us lately? Look at us? Are we happy? All we do is just lay on each others bed and sleep. We barely talk... You're always with other girls-" He tried to interrupt, but I wouldn't let him, "Don't even say I'm overreacting, Beck. I know you... What has happened to us? Then... ugh." I don't want to tell him anything! Why am I doing this again? Oh, well knowing him, he won't give it a rest if I don't... "My parents, they're not happy. All they do is fight. I just know they're going to get a divorce. The most put to fucking together people I know are just going down the fucking drain." I couldn't keep in my tears anymore. I started to just cry. Like a river was going to form because I cried that much. "Then Tori, everyone fucking loves Tori. It's Tori this. Tori that. We make plans with just the old gang and then Tori has to come." I know it might sound bitchy that I hate how my friends love being around Tori, but it's like they don't even want to hang out with me anymore. But then again, Tori isn't what's wrong with me. I just didn't know what else to say.

"Jade, you can't control who I hang out with or our friends." Beck replied.

Is that really all he had to say? "I know! But God, Beck. It's like you – no one ever wants to hang out with me. It's like you kids just got a new toy and got rid of your old one."

"You really feel that way? You think we've replaced you with Tori?" He asked.

"Have you not been listening?" I fell onto his couch face down... still crying my eyes out.

He walked over to the couch and sat beside me. He rubbed my back over and over again for a while until he finally said something, "What's so bad about us?" He asked.

I turned over. I stopped crying, but I started to hyperventilate. The tears were gone but I was breathing like a maniac, "Jade, calm down." Beck said. It's hard to calm down when you can't stop breathing like this. "We're not happy... we're not. All we do is fight, make up, kiss and sleep in each others bed. Fight, make up, kiss and sleep in each others bed. We barely even hold a conversation without one of us picking a fight." I buried my head into his chest. Again, he rubbed my back until he thought of what he was going to say.

"I know... between you and I, things haven't been that good. But I don't know what to do. I thought you felt the same way I do when we fall asleep, everything is alright. You holding me during the night... you never let go. I have you by my side and it couldn't be any better because through all the fights, I know you still love me and I still love you. We just can't figure out how to fix it. I didn't know..." He stopped for a moment. "I didn't know, that you felt unhappy. I honestly wouldn't blame you, because I know we could be happier than this. I'm sorry I haven't been able of doing that. I want you to be happy..." He paused for a second but before he started once again, I kissed him. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling himself closer and closer to me. But he stopped because I don't think my heavy breathing was turning him on.

"Jade, is there anything else that makes you unhappy?" He asked.

I shrugged. He put his arm around me, pulling me into his chest. "You can tell me anything. I'll try to make it better okay. I promise you." '_I promise you_.'

"You better keep it." I told him. Getting comfortable, I started to breathe normally once again.

Out of no where, he got up from the couch, making me fall on my face on his couch. "Give me your stuff." He said.

"What?" I replied. Not even a sorry for making me fall flat on my face on your couch? My knight in shining armor is so sweet...

"You can't be happy if you're hurting yourself." Beck said. He walked over to the closet to search through my items.

Ugh, he's stealing away everything I need...

"Empty your pockets." He demanded.

"What are you? The cops." I hissed, I did what he asked.

I laid each item in my pocket on the table. Two razor blades, four bandages, a paperclip with a sharpened end, a copy of Beck's keys, my cellphone and my iPod.

"What do we have here?" Beck said, trying his best to sound like a cop, he held a big bag in his hands, with words that said, 'Stuff not for Jade'. He disposed of the razor blades and paperclip. He walked back over to my luggage to clean it out.

"Why don't you get something to eat?" He suggested.

Ugh, no thank you. I didn't tell him anything, I just stood there, in the middle of his trailer, watching him rummage through my stuff.

Since I didn't do anything, Beck made me something to eat. A breakfast sandwich... filled with eggs, bacon, and lettuce. All I could think was, this is disgusting. Why is he doing this to me?

"Eat up." He smiled and placed it on the table. 'I am not going to eat that', I thought to myself. He watched me stare at the sandwich for about three minutes. "Come on, Jade." Take a bite. So I did. I slowly chewed the piece. 'Ugh, what is he trying to do? Make me fat?'

"C'mon, eat more." He said. I shook my head, "I don't feel so good." I lied.

"Oh, well do you want me to get something? A Tylenol?" He suggested. I nodded. He jetted over to his bathroom. He left the door right open, but I know what I was about to do... was crazy. But I felt like I needed to. I ran over and shut the door and pulled over his desk to lock him out. I heard him pounding on the door, "Jade? JADE!"

"I'm so sorry." I cried. I tried to put all my items back into my luggage before he got out. Beck is pretty strong, so I knew I had limited time before he got out of there. I grabbed a few things from the bag where he was throwing away things of mine, but once I finished, he got out. He ran over to me, taking my arms away.

"What are you doing?" I can see the worry in his eyes. It almost looked like he wanted to cry...

* * *

Beck's POV

_Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that. _

What the fuck was she doing? Locking me inside of my own bathroom. Does she want me to kill over? I kept pushing and pushing the door, trying to move whatever was on the other side of the door. Once I finally got it out of the way. I saw Jade, trying to leave...

"What are you doing?" I grabbed both of her arms, they were trembling like crazy.

"I want to leave." She said softly. She didn't even look at me.

"Why?" I asked her. I was so close of crying. Seeing her like this... it's making me go crazy.

"I just can't fucking live here anymore. I'm going to Cat's." She started to zip her luggage, she didn't even finish packing.

"And keep on hurting yourself? Running away from someone who cares so much about you. I just want to help, Jade I love you." I told her.

"NO!" She shouted. "You really don't." She carried her luggage to the door.

What did she mean? '_Your don't._' I do.

She opened the door slowly, but I ran in front of her, "Wait."

"WHAT!" She yelled. I guess I startled her or maybe she's just mad at me.

"What do you mean? I don't love you? I do." I said.

She rolled her eyes and tried to leave again, but I stopped her, "Tell me and I'll let you go to Cat's." I told her.

She stomped her feet on the floor. She dropped her luggage and walked over to my bed. She sat on the edge and just looked around the trailer for a while until she finally told me.

"You don't care. You're so damn selfish. You never like hanging out with me. God dammit, if you never like hanging out with me, why are you still here? When we're not with our acquaintances, you're actually nice and decent to be around. What's up with the act?" She said.

"It's not an act... I" Shit, I don't even know what to say now. I'm not selfish though, what was she talking about?

"See, you can't even try to prove me wrong." Jade said.

"I'm not selfish." I said, stupid response. "Jade..." I put my arm around her, "I guess my attitude lately hasn't show-" Fuck, what am I saying? "Ugh, I don't know what to say..." I told her.

She got off my bed and got her stuff. She headed to the door and said, "Find me when you figure out what you're going to say."

"You think you're going to be okay, alone?" I asked her.

"Here." She handed me the bag of stuff I took away from her earlier, "I'll be perfectly fucking fine." I watched her leave. From the window of my trailer, I watched her turn onto the corner. Fuck, what am I doing, I should be chasing after her...

_Now you're all gone got your make-up on and you're not coming back. Can't you come back? _

* * *

Jade's POV

I turned on the corner of Beck's street. Where was I going? Cat's not even home. She's in Bermuda for her cousins wedding. I'm not going home, I know that. The only place I had was Beck's place. But I'm not going back there. I guess I could go to...

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter. It took me a while to figure out how I want this to all play out. Where do you think Jade will go?**


	3. Shadowboxer

Jade's POV

It's been almost a week, no sign of Beck... I knew it was too good to be true. Some boyfriend.

I've been staying at Tori's this whole time. It's not too bad, her parents have been nice, thought it's obvious they don't really like me. They're just too nice to say anything. Tori isn't half bad as I make her up to be, but I can't let her know that. As for Trina? I fucking hate Trina. God, how do they live with her?

No one has expected anything out of the ordinary with me. They're just confused about my situation... living with them, like why am I living with them? Tori knows that she's my last resort for everything. But where else am I suppose to go? Andre's? No, he'll tell Beck cause he's a goody too shoes. Robbie? No, he's a freak. Sinjin? No, he would think we're getting married and Cat isn't here, so I can't go anywhere but home or Beck's. But where's Beck? He would have known what to say now...

Beck's POV

Cat's not home. Neither will pick up their phone. Well Jade's cellphone is here... They must be having fun. I hope she's okay. I hope she doesn't think I've forgotten about her. I miss her so much.

I grabbed my cellphone to see if she tried to call, but instead I got a text from Tori.

From Tori  
Message: What did u do 2 make Jade mad?

Wait... what? Tori's with Cat & Jade... She's with Tori...

To Tori

Message: Is Jade w/ you?

Tori's POV

From Beck

Message: Is Jade w/ you?

What am I suppose to say? Jade and him are fighting... Well, I guess I could ask Jade what she wants me to do.

I walked over to her. She sat on the couch watching Girly Cow, hugging a pillow.

"Hey, I just got this from Beck." I showed it to her. "I wasn't sure if you wanted him to know where you were, who you were with, since you two are fighting." I said to her.

"Um, well ask 'why?' before... if he has a good enough reason... you can tell him" She said.

Beck must have really upset her.

To Beck

Message: Why?

Beck's POV

From Tori

Message: Why?

Obviously, Jade is with her. She's making Tori not say anything until I give them a good reason to spill.

To Tori

Message: I need to talk to her. It's important. Is Cat there too?

Tori's POV

From Beck

Message: I need to talk to her. It's important. Is Cat there too?

"Why is he asking if Cat's here? She's in like the Bahamas for a wedding." I asked Jade.

"I told him I was at Cat's." Jade admitted.

"Well he said, it's important." I said.

"Give me your phone." Jade demanded. So I did. No questions ask.

Jade walked out into my backyard to call Beck... while I sit and watch Girly Cow. I wonder what they're talking about.

Jade's POV

Here it goes... I'm going to call Beck... He wants to take care of me... make sure I'm fine... I'm so afraid. I just can't... but I have to.

I dialed his number... pressed 'Send'... I just want to end call now, but he picked up.

"Hello?" I heard him answer.

"H-hi." I said.

"Jade?" He said.

Wow, he knew it was me. "Yes?" I answered.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"Tori's... so what do you need to tell me that's so important?" I asked.

"I have to tell you in person." He said. "Stay there... please." He said in such a needy tone. I felt like crying but Tori is staring at me from the inside and I don't want to be crying on the phone...

"Sure." I said.

"Alright. Bye" He hung up.

I need something to make me feel better...

Beck's POV

Finally, I know where she is. I can tell her I love her and everything I wanted to tell her...

I arrived at Tori's, 10 minutes later. I rung the door bell... but I heard a loud shriek from inside... Tori's shriek. Something bad must have happened... something bad must have happened to Jade... I rang the door bell once again and heard the garage open. Ran over to the back to see who was out there... It was Tori's dad carrying Jade to the car. I noticed, red dripping down the bottom of her sleeve... no, no. Tori saw me on her driveway.

"Don't tell me what happened... I have a good idea of what... just happened." I told her. She gave me a hug and we went to the hospital together... why is this happening to me?

**A/N:** Sorry it's so short. Also for those who don't understand the italics of the story in the last chapter, it's lyrics from the song 'Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl' by Broken Social Scene. Each chapter is a title of a song.


	4. Dog Days Are Over

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. Been busy with school. This is the last chapter. Hope you liked it.**

**Beck POV**

Well shit, I'm in a hospital. Jade woken up not too long ago. But her parents wanted to see her first. They're pretty much uptight bitches about this. We can hear them yelling from the hall. Tori's parents are looking at each other, silently judging Jade's parents, parenting skills. I walked over to Tori who was reading a magazine, anxiously biting her nails.

"Hey." I said. Tori jumped out of her seat a little, I guess I startled her.

"Why would she do that? It was so uncalled for... oh my goodness." Tori said.

"She just hasn't been okay lately." I put my arm around Tori and rubbed her arm back and forth, I don't know what kind of emotions are going through Tori's head, but they can't compare to mine. This has to be the worse day of my life.

* * *

**Jade's POV**

Fucking. Hell. So close.

My fucking parents are just yelling and yelling? What the hell. This is just pure hell. They think I'm crazy, they're blaming each other and it's not even about me, it's about them. Instead of them asking, "What's wrong, honey?" they come in to my hospital room and yell at each other.

"SHUT UP!" I screamed over them.

"Jade. Do not use that tone of voice towards us. We're your parents." Mother told me.

"All you two do is fight. I CAN'T STAND IT! You two use to be in love... happy... I can't live with you two hating each other and acting like nothing is wrong..." I said. They were both shocked that I was telling them the truth. "Why can't you two just go back to loving each other."

"Jade, we're getting a divorce." My father admitted.

"You two can get counseling! Just, don't do this." Tears started streaming down my face, God I hate that. This can't be happening. Not here.

"Jadey..." God, I hate that nickname. "It has nothing to do with you. It's between your mother and I." My father said. He tried to kiss my forehead but I backed away. He left the room. My mom stayed.

"I want this to still work. He just doesn't want to anymore." My mom cried. I never seen my mom this way before. I put my hands out for her, we hugged and I kissed her forehead. "I love you, Mom." I told her.

"I love you too, sweetie. Please take care of yourself. I don't want to see you here ever again..." She told me, "I understand if you don't want to stay with me or your father right now, but you have to take care of yourself. We love you, Beck loves you. Your friends... Baby, just stay strong." She told me. I nodded, for her I will. My mom walked out of the room. I sighed, I looked around my room, observing the each and every inch of the room. Then I heard a knock... It was Beck with a box of chocolates.

"I know you hate flowers so I got you chocolates instead." He said. I cracked a smile.

"I'm sorry." I told him.

"Sorry for what?" He asked.

"I never gave you a chance to explain or anything... I was so scared of you... you coming over. I just... I didn't want to hear what you had to say." I told him.

"All I care about is that you're okay. You scared me, I love you. Whether you believe it or not." He kissed me and I made room for him in my bed. I patted the side of my bed for him to lay down.

"What were you going to tell me?" I asked. He climbed into my hospital bed and laid down next to me.

"I love you, you mean the world to me. I've just haven't shown it because I'm kind of just like you... you love me, but you don't like to show it sometimes... but I guess I haven't really been showing you that I do love you. It broke my heart that you said those words to me the other day, it broke my heart that you did this to yourself... but I'm fine now, now that you're okay." He told me, laying his hand on my cheek.

I closed my eyes and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Don't let go." I whispered.

"Never." He told me.

I feel safe. Even though... I still feel unstable. But I feel better... but not quite.


End file.
